Sex Positions For First Timers and the Sexually Inexperienced
If you haven't actually been to bed with someone yet, you may want to read our general advice for men and women before you have sex for the first time..
On this page we give you some ideas about the sex positions you might like to try during your early sexual explorations.
Sex positions advice - mostly for men
Why would it matter how you get it together? Well, young men don't generally last very long. They're too horny and over-aroused. Sure, provided your partner's willing, you can always have a second go, but premature ejaculation - or even just quick ejaculation - is often just as quick second time around. If you want to give your partner pleasure, then you might want to try the positions where you last the longest. But there are other factors too.
First, some sex positions are harder to get into than others. If you're not that confident anyway, trying to maneuver yourself into a twisted figure of 8 while keeping your penis from popping out of your girl's vagina may not be the easiest thing in the world.
Second, during sex you'll pop faster in some positions than others. Of course, if you have an understanding girlfriend, this may not matter, but if you want to be a good lover, and develop your skills, you can - for most of the time, anyway - stick to the less arousing sex positions. That way, you'll last a bit longer. For example, rear entry is an arousing and exciting position, notorious for making men come fast. You look down on your partner's rear end as your penis enters and leaves her body.....which is very exciting, so unless you've developed some self-control, sex probably won't last long in that position!
Third, your partner may not be very experienced herself, and she might want you to take the lead as she learns more about sex. If you choose the easier positions, you'll take a bit of pressure off yourself.
Fourth, you might actually prefer sex in the simpler, easier positions. Being able to fuck in the harder-to-get-into, acrobatic ones is often not the mark of a good lover but of someone who's not bothered to find out how to get pleasure from simpler ways of making love, and thinks that trying something complicated will make sex better. That's not true - good sex is based on intimacy, love and caring for your partner, not technical ability.
Still, enough of that. Which are the good positions?
Man on top sex positions
The oldest and still the best position for sex! Your girl lies on her back, with her legs apart, and you lie on top, supporting yourself on your knees and elbows (she may actually like to feel your weight resting on her, but don't assume that without asking her. She won't thank you for squashing her!). You're most likely to have your legs between hers; she can rest her feet on your calves or bring her legs higher up you back if she wants - though that's usually easiest after you've completed your initial docking maneuver.
If you're not experienced at getting your cock into a woman's pussy, admit it and ask her to guide you in with her hand. Don't just peck ineffectually around the entrance to her vagina with your knob! It may be a bit easier if she raises her hips by resting her butt on a pillow, but generally speaking, getting into her pussy isn't hard in this position. Make sure you have enough lube on the condom, or if you're not using one, on your penis. Saliva is always a good stand-by.
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OK, what next?
Woman on top sex positions
Another easy one, but it does need some confidence on your partner's part. You might say, well, what's to be confident about? The answer is she may be a bit self-conscious with her body exposed to your eager eyes (especially if she has some issues with the size or shape of her breasts or body), or she simply may not know what to do.
So you, the man, start by laying on your back, and work up an erection if you're not already hard. Maybe this is a good time to try a spot of fellatio (she sucks and licks your cock) or "69" (she sucks you as you lick her pussy - she'll be kneeling over you, her ass towards you and her face in your groin). However you do it, once you're hard, have her sit on you, facing you, holding your penis and guiding it into herself as she slowly descends onto you. The great advantage is that she can control the speed at which your penis penetrates her, so if she's not confident, that may help her feel like she's the one who's in charge.
What happens next is up to you. Obviously the idea is to have her ride you, either by moving her hips in a circular pattern or by raising and lowering herself up and down your penis. Take it slowly and she'll soon get the idea!
Sex positions advice - mostly for women
If you're in the happy position of having sex for the first time, it can be a bit overwhelming. Have you made the right choice? Are you happy to lose your virginity to this man? Does he love and respect you? How do you make it good for both of you ?
The first few questions are ones for you to think about. Only you know when you're ready to give it up; it's something to think carefully about because you can only do once in a lifetime. This may be important to you, it may not. But don't have sex just because you feel under pressure, for it's a big step.
If you're not used to men, and perhaps a little inexperienced with penises, don't worry. Just treat it as he treats it and you'll be fine. It's a bit of an exaggeration, but not much, to say that no matter what you do to his penis, he'll like it. But he'll certainly like it most if it's in your mouth or pussy. If he's new to sex, he's likely to ejaculate quite quickly, so make sure you've had your orgasm before he enters you. He can give you cunnilingus or you can show him how you like to masturbate so he knows how to get you off.
If you want to be in control the first time you have sex, woman on top is the position for you. You can slide down onto his penis at a speed that suits you.
If you'd rather let him take the lead, then man on top would be a better choice.
Remember that even when you enjoy man on top sex, you're not meant to lie there passively, doing nothing. You can take an active part in sex by moving your hips and pelvis, altering the position of your legs, and even thrusting your hips back and forth. If you know how to clench your vaginal muscles, you can give both of you extra pleasure. It's also worth remembering that he may make a lot of noise when he comes - if you're already used to people making enough noise to startle the neighbors during sex, this may not bother you. If you're a quiet comer, maybe you could learn to copy his example!
