Sex Positions With The Man On Top
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Having a sexual relationship that works well doesn't just depend upon your knowing lots of sex positions! Any difficulties in communication between you and your partner will erode confidence, spark resentment and lead to a loss of passion. If that's the way your relationship is shaping up, then knowing lots of ways to enjoy sex is not likely to make much of an improvement. On the other hand, if things are going well for you and your partner, but you lack passion, or even sexual desire for each other, then trying out new sex positions and techniques can bring back emotional intimacy, fun and hopefully sexual excitement for you!
We're all interested in sex, that's for sure. We spend a huge amount of time thinking about it, enjoying it, or trying to get it. Don't you think, then, it's a bit strange that a lot of people lose interest in sex with their partners so quickly? The explanation for this may lie in the fact that sex is just like lots of other human pastimes - to stop us getting bored, we occasionally have to find some new interests, some new techniques, which make it fresh and exciting for us.
That's the idea behind this website: to help you find new ways to enjoy sex! So call your partner, look at the pictures together, have a laugh, and then go to bed and enjoy trying out these new sex positions. And above all, remember sex should be enjoyable, not taken too seriously, and above all FUN!
But what is sex actually all about for you?
It probably depends on what mood you're in: you might be looking for vigorous, passionate sex that's quick, impulsive and powerful; you might be looking for slow. romantic lovemaking, or you might be looking for lazy, loving sex before you go to sleep. Sex can do all these things and more for us, in all kinds of ways, and in all kinds of positions, but it's important for men to remember that though they may be very orgasm-centered, the same isn't always true for women.
Men tend to think of penetration as wonderful, penile thrusting as extremely enjoyable, and orgasm as even better - regardless of the sexual position! - but many women find the very act of penetration gives them a huge amount of emotional and physical fulfillment. Women may find the physical connection of their partner's penis in their vagina sufficiently rewarding in itself. For them, vaginal thrusting usually doesn't produce an orgasm - regardless of the position in which you're both enjoying sex - and sex may have more emotional connotations than it does for a man. There's an old cliché about men needing sex to feel loving, while women want love before they're ready for sex. And most old clichés have a grain of truth in them somewhere!
A man may also enjoy having sex (or making love, if you prefer) in less conventional ways: for example, penetrating his partner without thrusting to orgasm, just enjoying the feeling of sexual energy flowing as his penis is enclosed in the warmth and wetness of his partner's body. Or, perhaps, making gentle rocking motions from the hips rather than vigorous pelvic thrusts. Or making shallow thrusts at the entrance to her vagina, thereby teasing the most sensitive parts of her vulva. All of these are things that you can explore without being caught up in the search for passionate sex in outrageous new positions. But when you do want to enjoy some new ways of making love, you can turn to the pages of this site for hundreds of exciting sex positions that will enhance your enjoyment of sex.
"Basic" sex: the man on top position (also known as the missionary position)
When you ask people what positions they like to have sex in, the most popular answer from men is "Rear entry" or "Woman on top". Women say they prefer "Woman on top" more than any other sex position. But the odd thing is that we know most people have more sex in the man on top position than any other! Now, just how do you explain that?
I don't really know, but I wonder if people have sex in the man on top position because it's safe, familiar, comfortable and enjoyable, while they secretly think that other positions might be more arousing, more exciting or more satisfying?
Men certainly like the idea of rear entry sex. After all, there aren't many things more sexually exciting than penetrating your partner from behind, watching your penis moving in and out of her vagina while her bottom frames the picture! Yet men often reach orgasm quickly in this sex position, so intercourse doesn't last long, and it may not afford much opportunity for emotional connection with your partner. Women may find the idea of rear entry sex "naughty", raw, passionate or lustful, but in reality it may mean they don't feel very connected with their man.
And woman on top sex is a very different thing to man on top sex - once she's on top, a woman may find herself taking the lead, controlling the pace of sex and determining its rhythm. All these things are exciting once in a while, but perhaps what we really crave is the certainty, the established roles, the security of man on top sex - or maybe it just feels good for both partners?
Yes, that's partly true: it can certainly feel good for men, who can make deep pelvic thrusts, enjoy a sense of dominance over their partner, and have powerful orgasms. But what about a woman's pleasure? Does she get much out of sex in the man on top position? Her clitoris is rarely stimulated, she may not reach orgasm, and she feels the weight of her man on her.....but there are compensations. The couple can look into each other's eyes, have extensive bodily contact, and enjoy the emotional rewards of being on top and underneath (in other words - he feels dominant or protective, she feels receiving or protected). Surely, man on top sex reaffirms a man's lustiness and sexual power, and a woman's desirability and sexuality, and in addition, as she permits her man to penetrate her, she feels safe, secure and protected. No wonder it's so popular...
The basics of the man on top sex position
If you're sexually experienced, then you probably already know how man on top sex works. But for the benefit of those who aren't, the man positions himself over the woman with his weight more or less supported on his arms, knees and legs, while she lies on her back with her partner's legs inside or outside hers. There are many variations of this basic position, all of which give a different experience to the man and the woman - for example, if she has her legs outside his, her vagina won't be as tight as it would be if she had her legs inside his. You can see how man on top sex works in the pictures below (all of which expand when you click on them).
A lot of people think that in this sexual position the woman's movements are restricted by the weight of her partner, but that's not entirely true - a woman does have the freedom to thrust or rock her pelvis to some extent: in fact, she can add greatly to the enjoyment of sex for both partners if she moves her hips to meet his thrusting with some energy of her own.
But why stick with the basic man on top sex position?
Try, for example, having sex with the CAT. That's the "coital alignment technique", of course.
We all know that a woman's clitoris may not get a lot of stimulation during sex in the basic man on top position - for one thing, neither partner can reach it that easily. But surely, you might say, it can be stimulated by the man's body pressing on it? And, yes, you'd be right, but to stimulate it in a way that helps her reach orgasm isn't as straightforward as you might think.
Basically, the partners need to rock their bodies against each other in such a way that her clitoris is gently pressed against his body. This means no rampant thrusting: instead, after he has entered her, he moves his whole body upwards (in relation to hers) so that the base of his penis makes contact with the general area of her clitoris. Then they rock in a coordinated way, so that every time he moves up, she moves down. The idea is to produce a series of small bumps between her clitoris and the general area of the base of his penis, so that she gradually builds towards orgasm. If you want to know exactly how to do this, read about it here, from the guy who invented it, sex researcher Edward Eichel. (And good luck. I haven't met anyone yet who understand this procedure! But think of the fun you could have trying to work it out....)
So what happens when she puts her legs in the air?
The main difference between sexual positions comes down to two things. The first is the angle of penetration - the angle at which his penis enters her vagina. Any change in the orientation of the two partners' bodies can change the angle at which his penis thrusts into her vagina, and of course this will change the sensations that both partners feel. The other major difference, needless to say, is the tightness of her vagina - anything that tightens her vagina will tend to make sex feel better for him (provided there is still enough lubrication to ensure that the friction does not become unpleasant) and possibly for her. Unfortunately many women find that even a slight change of angle of entry can cause unpleasant friction in the vagina; this is especially true if his penis begins to rub too hard on her sensitive spots such as her G spot.
Having said that, an interesting variation which makes man on top sex feel better for both partners is the one in which she raises her legs progressively further up his body. The most common variation is when she places her feet on his calves, or wraps her legs around his thighs - see the pictures below.
She clasps him with her legs and pulls him into her
As a general rule, the higher she raises her legs, the deeper his penis will go into her. What's more, she can pull him deeper into her, which is delicious for both partners, especially if she's into deep penetration. Sex in this position can be very fulfilling for the man, since men often crave deep penetration - it's something genetic, no doubt, about ejaculating as near their partner's cervix as possible. But when we have sex for fun, such ancient genetic impulses can be used to enhance our pleasure - and if she's flexible enough to raise her legs as shown in the picture below, then both partners' enjoyment may increase greatly.
If she's even more flexible, this position may offer great sex
As you might expect, when she gets her legs right back - see the picture below - the man can get his cock as deeply into her as he's ever likely to do. This can be very exciting, make him come quickly, and allow him to thrust deeply and powerfully. Hopefully he's not going to thrust too deeply, though, for if he does he might hit her cervix with the end of his penis, which is sometimes very painful for a woman. It's essential that both partners are able to tell the other what they want and don't want, so as to ensure sex is a great experience for both of them.
An interesting variation with the man kneeling for sex
You've got to be flexible for some of this stuff, believe me. But if you're not, there's a chance you're going to feel you're missing out on something wonderful, that the heights of sexual pleasure are being denied to you. That's not true: sex can be just as good in the basic man on top (or any other basic position) as it is in the variations. What you miss if you can't get into positions like the ones below is variety - and though variety is supposed to be the spice of life, there are so many options in sex that you need never feel deprived. That said, the positions below do have a certain extra spice: the man can see himself penetrating his partner, which is what men like to see, and she can enjoy a feeling of wanton lustfulness, of being a "bad" girl, of exposing herself and allowing herself to be "taken". OK, that might not be your thing, and maybe you just like sex in this position because it feels good, but for a lot of people sex in a new position like this is exciting simply because it's different to the "safer", perhaps more conventional ways of having sex.
Squeeze your man, girls!
Men like three things: warmth, wetness, and tightness. Provided the woman is naturally well-lubed, or you have a bottle of lube at hand, the first two are taken care of. The third depends on where you both have your legs. For extra sensation, try having the woman's legs inside the man's. He won't be able to penetrate as deeply, but it may be exquisitely pleasurable for him. Don't expect sex to last long, though!
Another exciting variation of the good old man on top!
This position can be very exciting, because it allows deep penetration, the man can view his partner's buttocks as he enters her, and it provides both partners with a sense of taking/being taken, which might be something you find sexually exciting. It's certainly a good variation for those times you feel very horny, but you want a compromise between rear entry and conventional man on top sex!
A woman talks about man on top sex
Why do I like the man-on-top sex position? Many, many reasons. I love to feel him on top of me, his weight bearing down on me, that slight sense of being dominated in a loving way, feeling him penetrating me, kissing him as he enters me, caressing his back, arms, legs, buttocks - oh, the sexiness of that......incredible! Of course what rocks your boat may be different, but what makes this so sexy for me is the connection - he's fucking me while he looks into my eyes, and I can move my legs so that I have him round the waist and I can pull him deeper into my cunt. That way, he's mine, and he can't get away. Mind you, I also love the thought of him entering me while I can't get away - even if I wanted to.....which of course I don't!
And moving my legs can really get him going. I can bend my knees, rest my feet on his calves and relax while he does the work - including sucking my breasts - or I can straighten my legs out and flex my vaginal muscles - while I watch his face. The power of his orgasm is something amazing to me - the thought that I'm somehow responsible for the sexual energy he gives out as he shouts out in his uncontrollable orgasmic thrusts gives me a real sense of my feminine sexual power.
What's more, if we get tired we can move into some other sex position - side by side being favorite! We can move over into the side by side position from the man on top very easily, and it doesn't take much effort. You just have to make sure that your legs and arms don't get squashed as you roll over, and his penis must must be deeply inside as you both start to roll. Once we're there, we spend a lot of time just caressing, looking into each other's eyes and moving gently. Sex lasts a long time, and this has the advantage that when we do come, we come much more powerfully - sometimes we can even manage to come at the same time, especially if I'm very aroused before we start to make love. The great advantage is that my clitoris is easily accessible and we can time our arrival at orgasm more easily than we can in some other positions where he (or I) can't reach my clitoris as easily.
There's a lot of potential variation in this position. You can hug each other close or you can move back and relax, staring into each other's eyes. You can have the woman lift her leg high in the air, and you can then enjoy the sight of his penis penetrating your vagina, while being able to play with each other's labia, balls and anus - if that turns you on. The penetration is more visible in this position than many others, and it can be very exciting for both partners to watch the movement of his penis in and out of the vagina, wet with vaginal lubrication.
It's a restful position for lovemaking, and one that seems to allow for a great exchange of sexual / spiritual energy. You can also take it more vigorously and enjoy powerful thrusting by both partners if that's what you feel like, though it's really nice to enjoy this position in a relaxed way before you go to sleep. If you do it reversed, with his chest to the woman's back, then you can actually fall asleep like this.
A man talks about man on top sex
Man on top sex really does it for me. Sure, rear entry is exciting, and side by side is loving and relaxing - and very sexy when you can see the penetration - but man on top is my real favorite. I like to enjoy the feeling that I'm in charge, that I'd dominating my partner, that I'm taking her, and though that may sound a bit chauvinistic, I do believe this can be a real turn on during sex, when we encounter the essence of the male and female sexual nature. To me it's about giving/receiving, dominating/being taken, but definitely not about active and passive. It's nonsense to talk of women being passive during sex: they should be just as active as men, in particular during man on top sex, when they can thrust just as powerfully as a man.
Man on top sex is a favorite position for me. There's so much intimacy and connection and yet at the same time there's so much raw sexual power around. I love feeling my partner under me, her breasts pressing on my chest, her nipples available for pleasure, our kissing can be passionate or gentle and loving, and there is of course always the thrill of penetration - especially when I see her face as I slide my penis into her. That moment has never stopped giving me the biggest thrill of my life - even after years with the same partner I still find it exciting and arousing to enter her, to push her flesh apart and find my way into her secret places. Entering her body is wonderful, especially when I feel her become even wetter in response to my entry; thrusting is so instinctual and fulfilling that it excites me beyond measure, and of course, the climax of sex in this position is ejaculating deep inside her. That's better than anything else I've known in my sexual experience. And in case that all seems a bit self-centered, I should add that she loves it all as well!
One thing a lot of men have told me is that the man on top position certainly does not help them to spin out lovemaking, to make it last longer. It's the power of the deep thrusts we men can make during man on top sex that makes us come quickly - a lot of self-discipline and self-restraint is required before a man learns to hold off his ejaculation in this position, I think. It's not good for premature ejaculators, that's for sure!
I've had a few amusing things happen in the man on top position. I tend to shout very loudly when I come, and I once deafened a partner because I had my mouth next to her ear on the pillow - something to watch out for if you like to give voice to your pleasure at the moment of orgasm!
Another thing to watch out for is muscle strain - especially if you're moving into middle age. It's helpful to rest your weight on your arms when they are wrapped under her shoulders, so you're not pressing up just on your hands. This also allows her to feel protected and loved, since you have her in a tight embrace, though of course you shouldn't forget to ask her if she likes what you're doing, and adjust your position if she's uncomfortable. But as far as I'm concerned, the closer our bodies come the better during man on top sex. That doesn't mean it's got to be like that every time - of course, it's thrilling to adopt some of the variants, especially the kneeling ones, so you can see yourself penetrating your partner, and it's also very exciting if she positions her legs in the air so you can thrust more deeply and enjoy a different sensation as you move inside her. The only problem with this one, though, is that if you have an inflexible back and a short penis, you might not be able to get into her unless you support her bottom on a pillow.
Other advantages of man on top sex: she can talk dirty into your ear, she can whisper encouragement to you (rude or not, as she chooses!) as you fuck her, and she can play with your buttocks, nipples and back. Having your nipples tweaked or even bitten as you come might increase the intensity of your orgasm quite a bit - at least, that's what I've found!
Readers comment on the man on top position for sex
When we asked women to comment on man on top sex, this is a sample of what they said:
Like many women, I love man on top positions. I have a pillow wonder my bottom, he's up on his arms, and as he thrusts into me he hits the spot that just makes me scream with delight! I also love watching his male power, the strength of his muscles and arms as he pushes into me. It's just so sexy.
When I watch my man come, it is the greatest sight I've witnessed. I think many women appreciate man on top sex nowadays - we've moved through all that stuff about women being dominated and we can see it as a sex position where both partners get real pleasure. Watching my man come is a pleasure for me, but besides that, the position simply feels good! What's more we're in close contact - he can kiss me, kiss my breasts, caress me and look into my eyes. It's good for both of us.
When my man's on top, the kissing is wonderful! Imagine the eroticism of being kissed while your man has his cock buried deep inside you! Does it get any more romantic than that?
Our favorite position is of course man on top - I love watching him while he's in ecstasy. But he can also shift his body up and use it to press on my clitoris, which can make me come. There's nothing as good as coming together!
My favorite sex position is man on top. He shifts his body up so I can keep my clit in contact with his body and feel the pressure on it from his pubic mound. I think it's the fact I can control the pressure and control when I come that makes it so good. But I also like to be on top watching him go into ecstasy as I ride him - that is such a powerful feeling, to give him such pleasure.
I love man on top when we adapt it so my legs are over his shoulders. I love feeling compressed, I love feeling his weight on me as he fucks me - it gives me a delicious feeling of being taken, being unable to resist his desires.
No matter what we've done before, we always finish off in the man on top position - that is, we always finish so he can come in this position. He absolutely adores it, and so do I, though I usually come when I'm on top or through oral sex. But watching him as he ejaculates is just the most amazing thing, and something I never get over - no matter how many times we do it!
Questions about man on top sex positions which have been emailed to us over the years - and our answers!
A young man emailed: Our best sex position is man on top. I love holding my partner down and being able to look into her eyes as I push my penis into her - gently or more forcefully, depending on how we feel, whether we're making love or enjoying more powerful sex. We also do some role play, safe enough within the bedroom, about her fantasy of being taken against her will. We'd only do that in the context of a loving relationship, but she can look into my eyes and see the desire there as I enter her, and I guess that lets her fantasize about how much men might want to have sex with her. Whatever, the eye contact is important to us - it makes sex more connected, more exciting, more arousing. And for men, there's that amazing moment of pushing into her, of parting her labia, of sliding my penis into her juicy, hot, wet cunt (those are her words, not mine, by the way!). We can also maneuver ourselves so that my penis rubs on her G spot, and stimulates her in a way she just can't resist. If we go on long enough, she will even have a vaginal orgasm - a G spot orgasm - which lasts much longer and makes her more excited than a clitoral orgasm. We find her clitoral orgasms tend to be short lived, and centered around her pelvis, while her G spot orgasms involve her whole body. Anyhow, that's a few of the reasons why we like man on top.....! I'd love to know what other men and women think.
A man answers: Well, like most men I like to see my wife's behind in the air - it really gets me thinking, I want to be in there! And it's very sexy, but the thing about it is that there isn't necessarily much tightness, although she can hold her legs together and that improves it. She's had two kids, so the best position for tightness is a variation of man on top where she holds her legs together and I push into her. I have a long penis so I can get deep enough to make this pleasurable for both of us. I doubt it would work too well for a man whose penis was shorter.
Second reader (male) observes: Man on top used to be so unpopular but more and more people are realizing how good it is! Watching my woman orgasm is an amazing sight. We do this by having her thrust up and down as I penetrate her deeply - this way, her clitoris rubs or bangs against my pubic mound, and she comes quite quickly. And to feel her coming while I'm still inside her is amazing. The only other position we can do this is when we're in the side by side position.
A woman replies: Man on top is great, but you should try the scissors! You (the woman) have one of his legs between yours and you then grind yourself against his thigh. By adjusting how much pressure you exert in this position, you can stimulate your clitoris and come quite easily.
A second woman replies: I need my clitoris to be stimulated to reach orgasm, and one position where we can do this is with my man on top when I have my legs vertically up with him kneeling in front of them and pushing into me. He loves the deep penetration, and he loves watching me as I climax as he plays with my clit.
A second man responds: My wife was very embarrassed about her body when we met and would never try sex in the rear entry position. But after we had tried man on top in the dark, we moved to man on top with the lights on, then we enjoyed man on top in every room in the house - maybe that's why it's our favorite! We spent so much time trying man on top that it came as a surprise when she suggested that we do something different - it was even more of a surprise when she suggested the rear entry position! I'm happy to say we have sex that way a lot now, but our favorite is still man on top - it just feels best for us both!
Original emailer observes: The best position for me is the man on top position with my partner lying on the bed face down. I can enter her from behind and reached around to play with her clit, and this is the only way she can come when I am inside her - I think it has something to do with the pressure of the bed on her clitoris. And she tells me that she likes to feel my weight on top of her - so I usually don't support myself too much in this position, but let my weight rest on her. When she tells me she would like me to raise myself, it takes the pleasure down a little for me, because I find I have to focus on keeping myself up on my arms, and this is a bit of a strain.
A question from a reader of the site, and answers from other readers:
My girl and I've just started having sex, and so we're trying out all kinds of sex positions. the problem is, things aren't going as well as wed hoped. We started in the man on top position, but I couldn't get the rhythm right, and my penis kept popping out of her. Should I be thrusting, which is how I thought it would be, or should I be doing what I was doing, which was sliding my whole body up and down hers, so as to move my cock in and out of her vagina? Is that why I kept sliding out?
Answer 1: The correct movement in sex depends on what position you're using. For man on top, you have to ensure that your hips are free to move, so that you can thrust your penis in and out of your partner's vagina. To do this, you need to support your weight on your lower legs and arms or hands, so that your pelvis is free to make the thrusting movements which will move your penis in and out. If you simply lie on top of her, you may find that you can't move correctly, because you certainly don't want to be sliding your whole body up and down hers! Obviously if you are in the rear entry position, then you make your pelvic thrusts in a different way - you move your pelvis back and forth from the hips.
Answer 2: This isn't directly an answer to your question, but when I started having sex I found that I couldn't feel where my penis was in her vagina because we were using condoms. Now that we're in a stable relationship and I'm simply entering her without a condom, I find I can judge the position of my penis in her vagina much better. Also, the other thing that made a difference is that I wasn't drawing back far enough on the outward stroke, because I thought my penis was shorter than average (and it is a bit, at about five inches!). Without pulling out far enough, you won't have much of a stroke. The only other thing I'd add is that you need to be able to talk to your girlfriend about this, and you need to be able to experiment sexually in a relaxed way. That helps you communicate much better.
Answer 3: There are plenty of alternatives. You don't have to just stick to one rigid formula when you have sex. For example, you can put your penis into her then simply lie still and enjoy the feelings as you "twitch" your penis, or she clasps you with her vaginal muscles. Then you can churn your penis around in a circular motion by moving your hips around in a circle. Or you can make small in and out movements that stimulate the outer part of her vagina. You don't have to make deep thrusts - indeed, you don't have to do this in any position - you can just play around and see what you enjoy. Making deep thrusts will make you come quickly, anyway, so even if your girl wants to feel you thrusting you may find that sex doesn't last very long! Also, don't forget that sex positions with the woman on top can be much better for both partners. The man is saved the effort of thrusting, which can be tiring, and can make him come quickly. The woman is able to move her clitoris against the base of his penis so that she can find the exact movement or angle of entry which allows her clitoris or G spot to be stimulated - that way she may be able to reach orgasm during intercourse.
Question from a reader: If you have a small penis, what are the best sex positions?
My penis is only about five inches long and I just can't find a position which makes sex good for us both. In the man on top position, I find I can't make deep thrusts. In the rear entry position I find I pop out. In the side by side position I find I can't get into her and in the woman on top position I don't feel very much!
First of all, it might be that you're thinking a bit too much about your size. Many men have a penis this size and they have great sex! So the first thing you need to do is drop any preconceptions about what your penis will allow you to do - the truth is this: with a bit of adaptability, you will be able to have sex in just as many positions as you want. It's actually things like the flexibility of your back that will restrict the number of positions you can get into. So let's take this step by step. First of all, in the man on top position, you can penetrate her quite deeply if she moves her legs back so her knees come up towards her chest. Ask her if she can clasp her legs around your back, crossing her ankles, and see if this gives you more sensation and/or control. You may not be able to thrust as deeply, but you may find that sex in this position is much more pleasurable due to the fact that her vagina is a bit tighter.
Next, there is an important factor in how big you are: if you and your partner are overweight, then there is, sadly, the question of a certain amount of fat getting in the way! You have to find a position where her vagina is exposed and your penis is able to get into her comparatively easily. You can research this by looking up "sex positions for large people" on Google. Certainly you will find that spooning positions are impossible if you are very overweight.
Third, be very careful if you have a small penis when she is on top. If she is riding up and down your shaft, then if your cock is a bit short you may find that she can accidentally ride up too far and you will pop out of her - the danger being that if she comes down too quickly, and at the wrong angle, then she may break your penis. So a certain amount of care is required.
There shouldn't be any problem in the man on top position, though. If she can get her legs up onto your shoulders, then you should be able to penetrate her without much difficulty, and you should be able to get deeply into her. If you're trying sex in the conventional man on top position with you both lying down, try putting a pillow under her hips to raise them a bit, so you can get more easily into her.
Next, doggy style or rear entry should not be a problem for you regardless of the size of your penis. You can penetrate your partner even if she has to raise her butt into the air to allow you to find the right angle. Often when men say they can't manage a sex position, it's because they haven't found the correct angle to get into their partner's vagina. If you try realigning your bodies, that might help you adjust things and make it easier to enjoy satisfying sex. Great Sexual Techniques shows you many more positions.
Finally, remember that if your partner has orgasmed once or twice before you enter her, her vagina will be wet and swollen, so you may find that it grips your penis better, and you tend to slip out less - regardless of the position you're enjoying for your lovemaking. Another great position for deep penetration finds the woman lying on her back and bringing her legs up over her head. This makes her vagina the main focus of her partner's attention!
MAN ON TOP[2]
Sex Positions
In an intimate and emotionally open sexual relationship, the role of more dominant and more submissive partner may alternate between the man and the woman. Each partner can be comfortable with whatever a particular sexual position demands of them. For example, during man on top sex the woman is not so much passive as receptive, opening up to her man while he's in a position that seems to imply the more dominant or more "active" role. By contrast, woman on top sex suggests that the woman takes over the role of the more active partner; she is literally "on top" and in control of the rhythm and pace of the couple's sexual activity. And, just as the woman's movements are somewhat limited when her partner is in the man on top position, so his movements are more limited when she is riding high! Side by side sex tends to be more equal - it looks and feels like an act of mutual love and respect, where communication and intimacy between two people is reflected in long, slow lovemaking, albeit with deep penetration and powerful orgasms.
Man on to: the missionary position - uncomplicated, satisfying sex
The legend is that the man on top or missionary position, with both partners lying down, was named after white missionaries by Pacific Islanders, who saw the white men and women having sex in the man on top position - the only one the missionaries deemed acceptable. Apparently the islanders preferred to have sex in the woman on top position, with the woman squatting. Whether that's true or not, man on top is still as popular now as it was then, and of course for very good reason, since it offers great intimacy, the opportunity to kiss, to maintain eye contact, and to have close physical contact between all the most erogenous and sexually sensitive parts of the body.
Best of all, perhaps, from the man's point of view, is that he can move his pelvis freely, and so has great control over the depth and pace of his thrusting. Generally his penis will be at a very comfortable angle when it enters his partner's vagina, and and he can control his pelvic thrusts, making them as deep or shallow as he and she want. The fact that he can change the speed and depth of his movements means that he can find exactly what gives both he and his partner the greatest pleasure and the most powerful orgasm.
In the basic man on top position, the man lies between the woman's legs, which are wide open to allow his penis access to her vagina. It's unlikely that his penis will slip out, but taking it slowly will help ensure that he remains inside her. Men: penetrating her slowly is good for your partner's pleasure: many women love the teasing sensation of their partner's penis slowly entering their vagina just an inch or two, then stopping, then resuming its inward journey, perhaps moving in and out several times within the first inch or two of the vagina before it goes deep into her.
(It's important to respect the moment of penetration, especially if you are making slow, romantic and gentle love. For a woman, the moment of penetration is a symbol of opening herself up to her man, and she needs to be ready both psychologically and emotionally if she is to enjoy it to the full. Her partner can check if she is ready by feeling how moist she is - or she may tell him that she wants him to enter her. That's the ideal way to judge when the moment is right for penetration, because a woman can be physically aroused (i.e. her vagina may be wet) but not emotionally ready for penetration. And it's also possible for a man to have a hard cock but not to be turned on mentally - if you're a man and you've ever been in a situation where you knew that you didn't want sex despite having an erection, you'll understand this.
The basic man on top position illustrated
 You can bend your arms more and rest more of your weight on your partner if she is comfortable with this.
Once you're inside your partner, you can begin to thrust gently at first, and also with quite shallow movements, moving your pelvis slowly back and forth and allowing time for the two of you to become fully attuned to the energies flowing between you.
Ways to make man on top sex better for both of you
Penetrating your partner does not mean that you can thrust away regardless of her wishes, needs and desires. She may experience a whole variety of feelings when your penis enters her - and so may you, of course - and it's good to take time to savor the experience and feel it fully. You may wish to keep your eyes open so that you can look at each other as you make love; that adds to the intimacy. Some lovers prefer to close their eyes and focus on what they are feeling - that's especially true for sensitive people who can be a bit overwhelmed by all the sensations and feelings that sex produces.
These days, most men realize that a woman wants more than the physical side of sex - she wants the emotional connections and feelings of being loved by her partner. And even if women's sexuality is a puzzling mystery to most men, at least we are capable of showing love and affection during sex and gaining great pleasure from our partners' sexual happiness. And it's true that most men do actually want to make their woman happy - it's very rewarding for men to give their partner an orgasm, or see her enjoying the feeling of him being inside her.
 If the woman wants to move more in this position, she can raise her hips on a pillow and brace her feet against the bed - this will give her greater freedom of movement. Equally, the man can raise himself on his arms so his weight pins her down less. Both of these variations allow her to assert her sexuality more and to gain greater physical pleasure from her own movements.
If this is uncomfortable for the woman, for example if she gets squashed by his weight, or she's pregnant and can't have her man resting his weight on her, or if she wants more clitoral stimulation than the position in the photo above offers, there are many ways to vary the experience.
For a full set pf pictures showing the possible variations of man on top sex, see Your Best Sex Ever
Deeper penetration
 A lot of sex positions books and websites suggest that this is a good position for deep penetration. However, that's only true if the man has a larger than average penis or a flexible erection which will bend down at right angles to his body even when he is completely erect. If a man has a small penis, or if his erection is inflexible and points straight up towards his face when he's erect, he's not likely to be able to go very deeply into his partner in this position.
When you're using sex positions which offer the possibility of deep penetration, it's important that you don't thrust too deep or too hard in the early part of sex. This is because a woman's vagina only reaches its maximum length when she's sexually aroused; until then, her uterus may not be fully elevated, which means your penis can hit it if you thrust too vigorously or deeply before she's ready for deep penetration.
The pleasure of watching penetration
Men, as you know, are very visual, and take great pleasure from the sight of their partner naked and sexually open to them, and they especially enjoy watching the act of penetration. So any variation of man on top sex (or any other position!) which allows a man to see what is happening is likely to prove highly arousing!
 
 
Of course a woman may also be aroused and excited by seeing her partner's penis entering her body. But what is arousing and exciting varies from woman to woman: for some it will be knowing they are going to give themselves to their partner; for others, it will be the physical pleasure of vaginal thrusting; for others it will be the whole act of sex, especially the love and intimacy that the act of sex implies. Sexual fulfillment, too, comes from different things: some women will want to have orgasmic pleasure, others will want the sense of closeness and love; and some will want to experience the sheer physical pleasure of being penetrated.
Maximum intimacy
 
One of the great things about the missionary position is that it allows the two lovers to kiss and cuddle while they make love. Whole body contact is easily achieved, as is eye contact and the luxurious feeling of being surrounded by your partner's body as you enjoy sex.
Woman holds the man close
 
One of the questions which features a lot in our postbag is whether or not the man on top position produces good sex for the woman. This question often seems to come up because woman wants to enjoy an orgasm during intercourse, but she can't when her man is on top. Well, no, because orgasm during vaginal penetration is not particularly common for women - at least, not from vaginal thrusting alone. Only a small minority of women actually come just from their partner's thrusting: most who reach orgasm during intercourse do so because either they or their partner is stimulating their clitoris as they make love. Obviously this is easiest when you can get a hand or finger to her clitoris, but there are other ways in which you can produce friction on the clitoris - for example, the woman can pull her man in towards her with her legs, so that as he moves, his body weight presses more firmly on the clitoral region. This may be very effective when he moves in a rocking or circular motion rather than a thrusting one.
Man enters his partner from behind
A variation of the man on top position which can produce very intense stimulation of a woman's G-spot. Depending on the angle of the man's penis and her vagina, this may even be too intense for her. So take it gently and softly at first, to see how you both like it. The easiest way to get into this position is to start form the kneeling rear entry and slowly lower yourselves down onto the bed.
Varying the angle of penetration
 
 
A very good way to avoid the mechanical rhythm of repeated thrusting - which can become boring and unstimulating for a woman - is to vary what you're doing by changing position so that you stimulate different parts of the vagina (and, for that matter, the penis). The best sex is fun, enjoyable, and varied, and by taking up a position during sex in which he enters his partner from a slightly angled sideways position like the one shown in the first of the four pictures above, a man can give his partner extra pleasure by pressing his penis on different areas of her vagina - some of which may be more sensitive than others.
Woman raises her legs
By lifting one of his partner's legs over his shoulder, a man may find that he can move more easily and at the same time press his body against his partner's vulva region, which can add to her excitement in this position.
Any position which allows the man to put a hand under one or both of his partner's buttocks and pull them slightly and gently apart can be very exciting for the woman - the gentle spreading of the cheeks of her bottom will pull on her anus and add a lot of intensity to the sensations she is experiencing as he thrusts.
The same is true of a gentle spreading of her vulva, for example as he gives her cunnilingus, or plays with her with a finger. For some women, the sense of being opened up and exposed to his gaze can be a powerful and exciting experience.
More on the missionary or man on top sex position
Man on top or missionary is the most common and popular sex position. It is by far the most common sex position in European and American cultures. As recently as 1948, Alfred Kinsey discovered that 70 per cent of Americans had never had sex in any other way. Since then later surveys have indicated that we are more likely to vary sex positions depending on the level of education we have received. If you are college educated for example, you are more likely to use a variety of sex positions than if you left school early and went out to work. However, the missionary still ranks high.
This face-to-face, man-on-top position offers the opportunity to kiss, caress and watch each other's faces during sex. It's relatively easy and is best started off with the woman opening her legs with her knees bent. If you encounter any difficulty guiding your penis into her vagina she is well positioned to reach down with a hand to help.
However, if you allow your weight to collapse upon your woman at any stage of the proceedings, including after your orgasm, you stand a good chance of squashing her. One of the benefits of the missionary is that you can support yourself with your limbs and prevent her from being squashed.
Another benefit is that most women are less strong than men. Should they get the opportunity to be on top, they may find it hard to continue because they get tired. Also, being rather more passive suits some weaker members of the sex. Since man on top sex gives the man the real range of movement she may need encouragement to shift around beneath you. This is especially important if she really gets off on deep thrusting.
The subtle adjustment of helping her to pull her knees up and back during the missionary position is one way of assisting her to deeper penetration. If she doesn't know whether or not this is good for her, take such powerful strokes extremely easily. Some women possess an oversensitive cervix at the end of the vagina and slamming in to it can shock and bruise, not tempt and delight. Some women have a cervical area very sensitive to deep thrusting and find that its stimulation sends up erotic responses to the whole of the body.
One of the great mysteries of male and female sexual fit is that there appears to be a design fault. The penis penetrates the vagina neatly enough but unfortunately never directly touches the clitoris. Unless ... slight adjustments are made during the missionary position. One of these adjustments is for you to snuggle hard up against her pubic mound penetrating her deeply, but not thrusting. Instead, you make very slight rocking movements against her pubic mound. If you have managed to angle yourself slightly up and over her pubic mound, there's a high likelihood that the shaft of your penis will reach direct contact with your lover's clitoris and that your pelvic rocking now offers a chance of her reaching orgasm.
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